It’s a truth that I place my worth on too many things that I shouldn’t, and I look at the people I admire and end up using them as another way to pull me down. It’s true I bully myself and think negatively when I think about me.
Do you know how often I overheat because I put on extra clothes thinking they might disguise my body from the flaws I see and am certain that complete strangers are judging me for? I know some of the backstories, of course, that’s led me to this place. And I know how unhealthy and dumb these ways of thinking can be. I’m so worried about the way my stomach looks that I end up miserable or just plain sweaty.
Why should I care what complete strangers might think of me?
Why should I waste time on scenarios that probably don’t even happen?
Why should I hate my body just because it isn’t what I’m working on making it? Yes, I want to be fitter and healthier, but why should I loathe myself so completely because I’m a work in progress?
I’m bullying myself daily and overthinking constantly. And it achieves nothing.
So why keep doing it?
And more importantly, how do I stop?
The answers are absolutely simple and agonizing difficult. In the simplest terms, I have to stop being a bitch to myself and be a Wiccad best friend to myself instead. I’m really good in the friend role with others, not letting my friends needlessly bully themselves, so I need to apply all that experience to myself.
When I want to belittle myself I need to praise or encourage myself.
I want others to do the same for themselves. Commit to one day of a loving bully-free zone. Then commit to a second day, a third, a week, a month, a year, the rest of our lives.
No matter the reasons, the conditioning, the path that brought us here and made us into self-abusing bullies, we have the power to stop it and change. We’ve always had the power, even when we forgot, even when others wanted us to forget. We have the power to change our reality, to free our kingdoms and rescue ourselves.
We have the power and we can be brave and embrace it.
I want to be brave, I want to free my kingdom from this evil, destructive negativity.
So today I begin. 1 day of not saying mean and negative things about myself, or of saying bad things about myself to others.
I am brave. I have the power.
Let’s get positive.