It’s September here in Aotearoa, New Zealand. Not sure how that happened, I swear it was August just yesterday. (We’re starting with these kinds of jokes…are you surprised?) I haven’t blogged much but life has been pretty busy and pretty amazing. And a lot of this comes down to the fact I’ve started to embrace the curves.
Most of you are aware I started Burlesquercise classes this year, I was so nervous to go to my first one and shake what I’ve got in front of others. I have been putting off doing so many different classes because it was always a case of “Oh, I’ll lose a bit of weight and then I’ll go.” Because I bought into the bullshit that I could never be accepted as a fattie and everyone will be judging me.
That’s not to say I don’t think people will be judging me, they will, I even have friends I know think less of me because I’m not thin and even more so because I have the audacity to feel gorgeous at my size. How dare I!
But how dare I not embrace the curves?
I mean, this is me. Losing weight is a struggle a half at my age and especially with the funness of an incurable disease like PCOS. And to be honest, I got really angry that my size and weight should have anything to do with how acceptable I am. I shouldn’t have to fit into some thin box to have worth, but for ages, I bought in and I didn’t embrace the curves how I should. I lost out on so many happy moments because of it.
But no more!
I went to Burlesquercise class and I had a blast. I love it, I’m getting more flexible and fitter doing it. Then I got asked to fill in for some classes, OH MY GODDESS. To say that I was freaking out was an understatement. But I did it, and I have had some absolutely amazing feedback. I’ve kept going and have now choreographed my own first routine, and am going to be creating more. I’m not just filling in, I am an instructor out there helping other women feel comfortable shaking that ass.
It’s an incredible feeling!
And beyond that, I am now an official member of the Boomfunk Variety performance group. I am going to be performing! That’s right, little old me is finally going to be back doing something I have always loved, dancing on stage. My first performance will be part of the Hastings Fringe Festival in October. (Post to come on that soon with ticketing info and all that jazz. Well, not All That Jazz…we’ll be performing that in February once I’ve finished choreographing it. Ahhhhhhh)
Life is pretty great, and each day I am looking in the mirror with more acceptance and love. And it’s not because I’m suddenly thin…I’m not, I exercise every day and eat pretty darn well (most of the time) but the weight is not going to just melt off, that’s not my body. And I’ve become okay with that. I am capable, I am talented, and dammit, I am a glorious goddess of a gal who deserves to smile in the mirror.
I was even part of a photo shoot!
And I’m going to be out there helping others feel the same. I am so excited to be part of the body positivity movement in my own way, and if I can help even one person feel more accepted to see a Big, Bold, and Beautiful babe out there then it’s so worth it. Because our worth and our happiness should not be tied to nothing but a standard of beauty we never voted for.
So, keep watching my lovelies, there is going to be more body positivity and self-love coming to the blog, along with the usual writing updates (have you gotten up to date with City of the Wiccad? Go do eeet if you haven’t and look at the pretty new covers.) There are going to be more posts about performing and getting my shimmy and shine on. And you’re going to see me embrace the curves.
It’s time for happiness and acceptance. It’s time to