Putting ‘Me’ first is hard.
Many of us are conditioned to put ourselves last; especially as women. We shouldn’t be doing that, we should be putting me first! We need to learn to take the time to focus on ourselves and our personal journey.
Sometimes it’s hard when you have already had a long and busy day and blobbing with Netflix is easiest (and hey, that can be a great Me Date as well.) Sometimes people don’t want you to. They have no right to do that, those who love and support you will understand and be behind you 100% in doing what is right and best for you.
Because a Me Date can be about taking time for yourself, but it can also be about pushing yourself and bettering yourself.
I used to be extroverted.
That got bullied out of me and in my adult years I became more and more introverted. Doing personality tests, I went from an ENFP to an INFP. Around people I knew, and in safe spaces, I was confident and outgoing. But outside of that, I was terrified to do things by myself and my anxiety has made me miss out on many great opportunities.
Now, I know some of this was not of my own choosing because some of us have medical conditions that do fun things to our brains or our hormones. But, there was a lot of it that stemmed back to things that happened when I was young, and I wanted to turn that around.
So, Me Dates became something I could use to overcome the anxieties and help rebuild my confidence. (It might be working, I just did a Myers Briggs test while writing this and I’m 51% back into the extrovert…)
On Saturday night I pushed myself right out of my comfort zone. It’s one thing to take yourself off to the movies. You are self-sufficient and have very little downtime sitting in the theatre waiting for the movie to start and then it’s all darkness. And, for the main part, the stigma of going to the movies alone is vanishing.
Going to a stage performance, well, that felt like a whole different kettle of flying monkeys.
But I did it, putting me first. I took myself on a Me Date to see Creepy Cabaret at the Paisley Stage.
I got myself all dressed up and tried to ignore the anxious little voice that random strangers would be judging my choices. My mantra was “I dress for myself and my personality, no one else matters.”
Then I got in my little Wiccad car and I headed off. I fretted about where I would park, where the front door was, would I be too early, where would I sit? But in the end, everything was straightforward and simple and I had fretted for nothing.
It was an amazing time.
I got to see my Burlesquercise teacher, Cherry Boomb, performing her acts. She was hanging and dancing around on the silks. She was twirling around on a hanging hoop (there is probably a technical term for this but if there is, I don’t know it.) And she was performing her Burlesque dances that left most of us wide-eyed over her bendiness. The only thing that could make her acts better was a live performance of a divine voice. Oh wait, she had that. If you haven’t seen her perform, I highly recommend getting along to the next show. (Or you know, you can hire her for any events you might have coming up.)
There was an amazing belly dancer whose name I wish I could recall. (A quick search of the event page didn’t help.) She did tribal fusion and I was captivated.
One of the epic ladies I have gotten to know through Burlesquercise was a stage kitten. It did take some self-control to not wave wildly at her.
There was other burlesque acts and belly dancing which, at the end of the day got me missing being on stage and performing.
Which means it’s probably a good thing I am doing Me Dates and putting me first to try and get my confidence back to the all-time high of the girl who once was.
It’s all about baby steps and putting in the effort and I am doing that.
I will see you all next week with a new Me Date blog post. This time about putting me first in a group. And if I remember, there will be a picture from Burlesquercise class.
Have you got any plans for Me Dates in the coming week? I’d love to hear all about them.