A couple of tweets with Dee and I am left contemplating my commitment to my writing and my ability to find the time to do it all. Now the comment was that I should find myself a very rich benefactor who would allow me to do all the writing I wish to do. If you happen to know one, please let me know. *grins*

I have in fact been supported and not working before. One time I was productive and wrote Eiridis and dropped a dress size, the others….well let us just say I was easily distracted and silly little games like Super Poke Pets were far too addictive. Oh how I wish I could back and change how I spent my time (though I will never regret the great friends I made through that silly little game).

Now I think I have that commitment to my writing and that drive to get it done, I just now lack the hours, especially as work goes from being 22-25 hours a week through to 28-40 hours. But still I shall battle to find the time.

The whole way I spend my free time has changed now, I can’t simply sit and watch a movie or a TV show anymore. I have to be writing or at least have my notebook in my lap and make notes because my brain will simply not be still. I find it hard to even read now, my brain goes, oh book….let’s make one.

I make the decision to not do things that I know to be fun in place of committing myself to my writing because I have changed my mind set. It’s just taken me a damn long time to do it and I wish I’d had this focus when I was younger and well, childless….I had a lot more hours up my sleeve in those days. Not that I regret for a moment having K (though there are some moments as with any child when you do want to pull your hair out and yell at the ceiling), I love my little boy and he is truly greater than anything else I will create in my life. But yes, I did have more hours before he was born and I wasted far too many of them.

However, I will not spend too much time on the If Only game. I am focused on now and I am focused on my writing. I will happily sit and write and potentially miss chunks of a movie or a television show, they will most likely be on to watch again if I need and well my muse isn’t one to repeat herself.

This has turned into another one of my world famous rambles hasn’t it? But I think I got out the concept that was swimming around in my head. I am making the commitment to writing and I am happy about it and hopefully the muse is happy about it too and will forgive me for the longer hours I am going to have to work. Until she is paying the bills she doesn’t really get much say in it really.

Leave a Reply